“I want 4 children when I grow up” I stated “Two girls and two boys. Their names will be Lucas, Logan, Lorelei and Leah.”I remember being around 11 or 12 at my Mamaw and Pappy’s house when I stated how many children I wanted to my Mom and Mamaw, as though it was that easy. I remember someone saying to me that day “I hope you get everything you want Jenna.” Maybe it was my mom. Maybe it was my Mamaw. It could have been my Pappy or even my Dad. It doesn’t matter who it was. What does matter is they knew more about life than I did at that time. They understood that sometimes our plans don’t line up with God’s plan and there is not a lot we can do about it. But at age 11 or 12 I knew no disappointment. I knew no heartbreak or pain. So when someone said this to me “I hope you get everything you want Jenna.” I thought how could I not? If I planned it then surely it would happen. Right? If only life was that simple.
Now I am 29.Happily married with two living children and 1 beautiful angel.One boy. He is my first born. He is also my angel. Two living daughters. And I am learning that just because we plan something doesn’t mean it is what God has planned.
It is easy to plan your life out. As though that is all it takes. I especially did this when I was younger. When I had no idea what life was about or what sort of trials and valleys I may walk through. However, Now that I am older I am learning that I can either dig my heels in when my plans don’t go the way I want them to or I can let Go and accept this beautiful journey that the Lord has placed me on. Sometimes this beautiful journey is full of joy. Other times it is filled with disappointment, heartbreak, pain, turmoil. Sometimes it downright sucks. But that’s life right?
Now that I think about it, there is never a day where everything I have planned out has gone exactly according to plan. If our plans do not go accordingly in the small and everyday things then what makes us think that we are going to be able to control our lives in the big things? It won’t work. God sees a bigger picture for our lives. He sees what we cannot see. It is up to us to accept it or reject it.
I am finally realizing that God’s plan for my life may not be what I wanted but it is still beautiful. I am learning to love this beautiful plan even when it hurts or when I don’t want it. I am learning to love every aspect of my beautiful life. The beautiful life that the Lord has given me. If you have struggled like me to let go of the plans and dreams that you have had for your life when God clearly has something different planned then please join me this year in learning to love God’s beautiful plan!
Until next time!