To The Weary Mother…
A few nights ago my youngest daughter, who is one, had a rough night. She woke up at 11 pm and for 3.5 hours refused to fall back to sleep. She only cried when I placed her back in her crib. She didn’t whine. She wasn’t hungry. I tried everything I could think of to get her to fall back to sleep. I sat with her. I rocked her. I gave her a bottle. Every time I would place her back in her bed she would scream. So I would pick her up and try again. For 3.5 hours she would just lay in my arms and stare at me. I finally took her into my bed with me and my husband. I rarely put her in bed with us. I like my space when I sleep and so do my children. So co-sleeping is not the norm in our house. She still wouldn’t fall back to sleep. Around 2:30 a.m. her daddy takes her and holds her for around ten minutes. He then takes her to her bedroom, tucks her back into bed, and she falls right to sleep without a peep. Now some could argue that she fell right to sleep because she was so tired from staying up with me. But I know my daughter. She’s a daddy’s girl 100%. If daddy is in the room she couldn’t care less about mommy. “What you carried me for nine months? you gave birth to me? Who cares mom. Daddy is so much cooler.” So I know the reason she finally fell back to sleep was because she got daddy time. She didn’t want me. She wanted daddy. I could have held resentment towards my husband for being so much cooler than me but I mean have you met my husband? He is pretty cool, he just can’t help it. So the next day I ran on maybe four hours of sleep and I was extremely weary and tired.
This evening my kids were playing peacefully and I had a long day, so I decided to hop in the shower to wind down and relax. Dad took over for me. As soon as I stepped into the shower it was like a hurricane overtook our household. Both girls were in full blown meltdown mode. They were both screaming and one came running to me “mommy! ” she screams outside the shower. A blubbering mess, she continues to sob and sputter about how her sister drank all her apple juice and there’s no more in the fridge. Like I could do anything about it while I was washing my hair. I sighed and thought “Can’t I just get one minute to myself?” The weariness overtook me again. But then I thought, isn’t this life? Isn’t this what the little moments with children are made up of? The good and the bad? Before you know it they are grown and out the door and this meltdown will be a distant memory if not completely forgotten. But sometimes it is hard not to feel the weight of weariness on you while you are deep in the trenches of motherhood.
Have you ever felt that way? Just stuck in a funk? Maybe you can’t seem to get your house work under control. Maybe your kids are not behaving the way you expect them to. Or maybe you are running on very little sleep and still trying to function and carry on business as normal. If you are that mom, if you are weary I want to tell you something.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO IT ALL.
In today’s society women, mom’s especially, have so much pressure on them to be everything and do it all. You need to be the perfect full time mother, with well behaved kids, a spotless house, happy husband, and also work a full time job so you can contribute to the family. But all that is a lie. You don’t have to be everything. You don’t have to do it all.
When did the lie that a woman is not contributing unless she’s working and making money wiggle its way into so many people’s minds? If you’re a mother, God has given you the greatest job of all. That is to raise your children. Teach them. Love them. Raise them to love God and to love people. Raising Godly children in today’s world is the most important task a woman can have in my opinion. I am not saying that a woman shouldn’t work full time. I know that the cost of living is high and many times it is necessary for both the husband and the wife to work. I work full time.
What I am saying is it is okay to not do everything.
It is okay to pick your priorities.
It is okay to figure out what is important to you and do that.
It is okay to need a break.
It is okay to not be everything to everyone.
It is okay to do what is best for you and your family.
Do you hear me weary mother? Rest in God today. Ask him to give you a peaceful heart and mind. Ask him to show you the important tasks and let the rest fall away. Don’t try to be everything to everybody all the time. Be you. Be happy. Be healthy. That is what is important. Because if you aren’t happy and healthy it won’t just affect you. It will affect the rest of your family.
Take it one day at a time. Remember to rest. This is only for a season. It’s only for a time. God sees your weary soul. Let him carry some of the burden of your weariness. Allow the weariness to fall away and be replaced with a peaceful heart. Think back to the story I told you about my one year old. She would not rest until she was in her daddy’s arms. As soon as she felt his strong arms holding her and rocking her she felt safe and peaceful. She got her daddy time and she was able to rest easy the rest of the night. Let us be like her. Get some “daddy time” with your Spiritual Father God. Let us go to him and rest peacefully knowing he has us safe in his arms.
Until next time!