What I Want My Daughters To Know

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I am blessed to be a mom of girls. Being a girl myself I feel like I have an advantage that my husband doesn’t have when it comes to raising them. I understand their emotions and their thoughts better, I think. I hope to instill into them the values that my parents instilled in me as well as teach them some lessons that life taught me. I am not a perfect mom by any means but there are some things I hope my daughters learn from me throughout their lives. So to my amazing daughters, if you ever read this, I want you to know that…

What matters is not how pretty you are but what kind of person you are.

I know this is really cliche and you are probably thinking mom seriously? I have heard this is a million times. But it is so true. It is easy to get caught up with how we look, if we’re pretty, what kind of clothes we are wearing, etc. But none of that matters in the long run. If you are an ugly person on the inside then that will ooze out onto you despite how pretty you are on the outside. Sure you may be able to fool some people for a long time. But eventually the truth will come out. Work on being a kind person. A truthful person. A loving person. Because that is what matters before anything else. How you treat those who are different is what matters. How you treat the girl who has a different opinion than you is what matters. How you treat the waiter when they are rude is what matters. How you treat the person on the street or your best friend is what matters. If you are kind you will automatically be pretty. Maybe not in the way that society thinks is important. But you will be pretty in the way that actually matters.

Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

I know that this is something I already tell you while you are still young. That is because it is true and I hope you carry it with you as you grow into an adult. There are moments in life where you have to do things you don’t necessarily want to do. Sometimes you just don’t have a choice. Just like when mommy tells you that it’s cold outside so you have to wear a coat and hat. Or when you make a mess in your room you need to clean it up. There are moments in life that are like that. Sometimes life throws bricks at us and there isn’t anything we can do to dodge those bricks but we can eventually pick them up and build something wonderful out of them. Sometimes you have to do the hard things. Sometimes you have to make the hard decisions. Sometimes you don’t get to decide what hand you have dealt to you. That is okay. It is a part of life. Millions of women before you have had to do hard things. You can do those hard things too if you have to. I have faith that you can and you will with your head held high. And as long as I am here I will be right there next to you, cheering you on and helping you while you do it.

If you have one or two good friends throughout your life then you are blessed.

Friends are good to have in life. They are the people who help you through the hard times and the people who cheer with you during the good times. But don’t mistake having “a ton of acquaintances” with having good quality friendships. Those are the ones you need. No one needs 50 friends. What a girl needs is one or two good quality friends who know them through and through and love you for you. Find those friends and trust me you will be blessed the rest of your life.

If you marry someone marry someone like your daddy.

This is pretty cliche too. But if you choose to get married find a man like your dad. I don’t mean like him in personality. Even though his personality is awesome. What I mean is find a man that treats you the way he treats me. Does he open the doors for you? Does he treat you like your opinion is important? Does he work hard to provide? Does he love God? Is he humble? Is he truthful? These are all important characteristics. Pray for your future husband. And be patient. If you want to marry someone then God has that person for you. Just be patient and wait.

Visit your grandparents as often as you can.

When I was young there were several people who were important to me. But no one was more important to me than my parents and my Mamaw and Pappy. I enjoyed spending time with them all the way up to when they passed away. My heart aches often because I miss them both so much and wish they were here to see their beautiful and wonderful granddaughters. That is why I tell you this now. Visit your grandparents. Hang out with them often. Even when you are grown, if  you are blessed to still have them around (which I hope and pray is the case!) Go see them. Call them. Have real and meaningful conversations with them. Those are the times you will remember and reflect on as you grow older. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

I tried my very best.

I may not be perfect. I may be short tempered sometimes. I may not get everything right. But I love you both with all my heart. In every action I consider what is in the best interest of you two. I always think about how decisions and actions will affect you. I always will. God blessed me with you two and I will always love you and I will always try to be the best mother I can. I hope that you both realize and know that mommy did try and that mommy loved you both as much and as hard as humanly possible.

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