PEACEFUL HOME. PEACEFUL FAMILY. PEACEFUL LIFE.
Creating A Peaceful Home
Creating a peaceful home is the second post in my series titled Peaceful Home. Peaceful Family. Peaceful Life. Read the first post When you have to make the hard decisions here.
If you were to ask anyone what they desire most in their life (other than a fatter paycheck) most people would probably say peace. As much as it is desired, so many people lack it. Why? Is it really that difficult to have peace? I would venture to say no it’s not. Even though there are some circumstances beyond our control that can create anxiety and turmoil in our lives, peace can be achieved. After my son passed away I dealt with quite a bit of anxiety. My family experienced severe turmoil for quite a while. Sometimes that anxiety still pops up but I have learned how to cultivate the peace of God in my life. It is the one thing I desire on an everyday basis…. a peaceful home and life.
There is one sound that sends needles into my flesh and that is the sound of a child throwing a tantrum. Not just any child. My child. I hate the sound of either one of them throwing tantrums. Because it is chaotic, forceful, obnoxious, and very annoying. That is how I would describe anything that comes into our life and steals our peace. When your peace is stolen, anxiety starts to set in and it’s like a screaming child throwing a tantrum. A nagging sound inside of your head that just wont go away. Now my oldest daughter B does not throw as many tantrums as she used to. We showed her how to translate her frustration and seek a better way to communicate and for the most part she is able to control herself. In the same way we need to train ourselves to seek the peace in our homes and lives. But how? Is it really that easy to come by? Can you truly achieve peace in your home? Your marriage? Your family? Your life? Yes you can. And it all starts with you.
It starts with a peaceful mind…
I learned several years ago that in order for me to have a peaceful life and home it had to start with me. Inside of my mind. There is no way to have a peaceful home life if there is turmoil and chaos inside of your mind. How did I get rid of the chaos that often times made a home inside my mind? I first gave it to God. I offered all the anxiety up to him. I know it’s not always that easy. I dealt with anxiety for a while and I know what it can do to your mind and your life. But one day I surrendered it to God and then decided to make an effort with every ounce of my being to not pick that anxiety back up. Yes, there are days I start to feel it creep back inside my mind. But when that happens I hit my knees in prayer immediately and pray to God for his peace and joy and for him to take it from me. Spending time in the word and prayer is my number one defense for a peaceful mind. I also have learned that in order to have a peaceful mind you cannot hold on to grudges. It is easy, especially when you feel wronged. But grudges don’t do anything except steal your joy. Forgiveness or even asking for forgiveness when you know you have done something against someone is another way to keep a peaceful mind. When my mind is at peace that is when I am able to make my home peaceful.
A peaceful atmosphere for everyone…
A few years ago I read something in a blog post that hit home for me. I really wish I wrote down what blog it was and who wrote it so I could link it for you all. The author talked about creating a peaceful atmosphere for everyone in the home. This includes your husband. She said that whenever her husband would come home she would immediately unleash all her frustrations and burdens from the day unto him and not even give him a chance to unwind. She realized later in her marriage that this was not doing either one of them any good and was not creating a peaceful home. She explained that when our spouses come home they need to be able to unwind and relax. Don’t meet them at the door and unload everything on them. You may feel better but your spouse now has their burdens from the day and your burdens as well. It doesn’t create a peaceful atmosphere for them. You see your home should be a safe haven for everyone in your family to be able to come to and relax, unwind, and get away from the outside world and any problems they may have. This doesn’t just include you but also your spouse and your children. When they come home do they feel at peace? Do they feel as though they are in a safe space and able to forget anything that may be going on at school, work, or even with friends? So how do you create that safe haven? Especially if you have small children?
- Allow everyone in your home to unwind and relax. If there is something you need to discuss with your spouse save it for a time where you are alone with them. Don’t discuss important matters in front of your children. Don’t discuss your children in front of them either.
- Turn off distractions, television, cell phone, iPad, etc. for a while and have family time. Don’t bring the electronics to the table. Keep that time as family time where you can discuss the good parts of your day with each other. Cutting out the noise and focusing on those you love is a great way to bring peace to your home.
- I am a huge supporter of QUIET TIME for everyone in the house, including yourself. Children need rest, even if they aren’t napping. My 4 year old plays quietly in her room during quiet time. She doesn’t have to nap but quiet time is not an option. It’s important for all of us. This time allows all of us to rest and restore ourselves after a busy morning. I am able to have some quiet time alone so I can give my children and my husband my best in the evening. Quiet time doesn’t have to be long. Just long enough for you to get some time and for your children to get some time.
- Keep any problems or arguments between you and your spouse (or the person you have a spat with). I can’t stand gossiping. I don’t like when people talk about other people to me and spread their issues like wildfire. It does no good and it just causes turmoil in your mind. I have found that if you stay out of people’s business and mind your own, your life is a lot more peaceful. I don’t rant to my husband about people, he doesn’t rant to me. That’s not how I want to spend my free time and energy. Instead I enjoy my family. I enjoy each moment I have with them.
There are a few little things I do to create a peaceful atmosphere as well. I will sometimes put on worship music or light a candle. We also have a wood burning stove and I have found that starting a fire in it on a cold night and throwing some blankets on the couch creates a very comfy and peaceful atmosphere. However, you can have a dozen candles lit and several blankets all over, if you don’t have peace in your mind and heart first, you won’t have peace in your home.
Until next time!